Category Archives: J-Jokes and Other Funnies

Suggestion Box

After examining the contents of the employee suggestion box, the editor complained, “I wish they’d be more specific. What kind of kite? What lake?”

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We Report. You Decide.

Q: What do you call a newspaper reporter with a TV reporter on either side?

A: An interpreter.

It’s the End of the World as We Know It

How would the media handle the end of the world?

USA Today: WE’RE DEAD!
Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World End
The Hill: Congress Passes Armageddon Postponement Legislation
National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again
Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse
Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour
Sports Illustrated: Game Over.
Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse
Field & Stream: All Deer Go To Heaven
Cosmopolitan: Look Heavenly in the Afterlife – A Product Guide
Lady’s Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with the “Armageddon” Diet!
GamePro Magazine: Cheat Codes to Sneak Your Console into the Afterlife
TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!
Fitness Magazine: Bulk up before you go down
TMZ: Britney and K-Fed Back Together – Will It Last? 
Travel & Leisure: HEAVEN – Where the roads are paved in gold
Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?
Tiger Beat: Band of Angels – The Latest Boy Band Craze
Gourmet Magazine: For a Preview of Heaven, Try This Port Wine Reduction Recipe

Now That’s Dedication

Three men – an editor, a photographer and a journalist – are covering a political convention in Miami. While walking along the beach during lunch, they stumble upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says, “Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.”

The photographer goes first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The genie grants his wish and sends him off to St. Thomas.

The journalist goes next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries.” The genie grants his wish and sends him off to the Mediterranean.

Finally, it is the editor’s turn.

“And what would your wish be?” asks the genie.

“I want them both back after lunch,” the editor says, “the deadline for tomorrow’s newspaper is in about 10 hours.”

Southern Journalism

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, “Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal.”

The hero told the journalist that he wasn’t from that town.

“Well, then,” the reporter said, “the headline will probably say, ‘Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog’.”

“Actually,” the man said, “I’m from Connecticut.”

“In that case,” the reporter said in a huff, “the headline should read, ‘Yankee Kills Family Pet’.”